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Tony McChrystal
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 48
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 8:48 am Post subject: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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Following on from Tommo(3)'s excellent sports encyclopedia, we should
extend it to cover other topics of interest.
Maths: A load of bores gather round a blackboard watching someone
scribble excitedly. Everyone is happy that they're left with zero.
Archived from group: uk>sport>football |
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nigel
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 606
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 6:32 pm Post subject: Re: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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Tony McChrystal wrote:
> Following on from Tommo(3)'s excellent sports encyclopedia, we should
> extend it to cover other topics of interest.
>
> Maths: A load of bores gather round a blackboard watching someone
> scribble excitedly. Everyone is happy that they're left with zero.
>
Languages: a tedious alternative to shouting more loudly in order to get
those bloody foreigners to understand you
Chemistry: how to make bombs
Physics: how to make big bombs |
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Sir Benjamin Nunn
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 2058
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 7:07 pm Post subject: Re: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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"Tony McChrystal" wrote in message @v4g2000hsf.googlegroups.com...
> Following on from Tommo(3)'s excellent sports encyclopedia, we should
> extend it to cover other topics of interest.
>
> Maths: A load of bores gather round a blackboard watching someone
> scribble excitedly. Everyone is happy that they're left with zero.
Science: How some cunts say things work, until they change their minds.
BTN |
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Tommo_³
Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 62
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:50 pm Post subject: Re: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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Tony McChrystal wrote:
> Following on from Tommo(3)'s excellent sports encyclopedia, we should
> extend it to cover other topics of interest.
>
> Maths: A load of bores gather round a blackboard watching someone
> scribble excitedly. Everyone is happy that they're left with zero.
>
Space Exploration - The art of spending 10% of your nation's GDP on the
mother of all jollies.
Opera - The nearest that fat singers will ever get to show biz.
Humanities - A Student Union card.
Impressionist Painting - Accepting that you'll never get it as good as a
camera can.
Arts and Crafts movement - Being too cheap to buy proper, machined
ornaments.
Ecology - Preaching to those who have a bigger car than you and bragging
rights on Radio 5 Live phone ins.
--
"If you were on a rocket flying to the moon the man you would want
sitting next to you would be Tony Mowbray"
Bruce Rioch, 1986 |
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Tony McChrystal
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 48
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:29 pm Post subject: Re: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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On 12 Feb, 11:48, Tony McChrystal
wrote:
> Following on from Tommo(3)'s excellent sports encyclopedia, we should
> extend it to cover other topics of interest.
>
> Maths: A load of bores gather round a blackboard watching someone
> scribble excitedly. Everyone is happy that they're left with zero.
Theology: Study of non-existent things, the worship of non-existent
things and the rules handed down by non-existent things that provide
us with a code to live by.
P.E.: Deeply unfair session of exercise, where sporty kids smugly
demonstrate their physical superiority over other kids. Imbues a sense
of competition into sporty kids and a healthy love of exercise and
intimidation, while it imbues a lifelong sense of injustice and
loathing in non-sporty kids.
Geology: A lifetime of studying for enthusiasts, who learn the
ultimate truth that the planet is largely made of rock. Or rocks under
water. |
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Joe Horowitz
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 1341
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 10:42 pm Post subject: Re: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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"Tommo ³" wrote in message @bt.com...
> Ecology - Preaching to those who have a bigger car than you and bragging
> rights on Radio 5 Live phone ins.
Environmentalists - People who are a bit crazy about the environ.
Compact Disks - Relatively Large Disks for storing small amounts of
information in the old days.
The Internet - computers talking to each other over long distances on behalf
of real people.
--
Joe
"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan |
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nigel
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 606
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:22 pm Post subject: Re: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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Tony McChrystal wrote:
> Following on from Tommo(3)'s excellent sports encyclopedia, we should
> extend it to cover other topics of interest.
>
> Maths: A load of bores gather round a blackboard watching someone
> scribble excitedly. Everyone is happy that they're left with zero.
>
History: Fiction written by the guys who won the wars. |
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nigel
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 606
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:37 pm Post subject: Re: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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Politics: How to lie with a straight face.
Economics: Sophisticated random number generation.
Statistics: How to justify the first number you thought of.
Accountancy: How to justify a number someone else thought of. |
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Sid
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 1126
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Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 2:15 am Post subject: Re: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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Tony McChrystal wrote in
> Theology: Study of non-existent things, the worship of non-existent
> things and the rules handed down by non-existent things that provide
> us with a code to live by.
non-existantly.
> Geology: A lifetime of studying for enthusiasts, who learn the
> ultimate truth that the planet is largely made of rock. Or rocks under
> water.
and rocks under other rocks. |
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Osbourne Ruddock
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 2614
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Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 2:37 am Post subject: Re: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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Sid wrote in @130.133.1.4:
>> Geology: A lifetime of studying for enthusiasts, who learn the
>> ultimate truth that the planet is largely made of rock. Or rocks under
>> water.
>
> and rocks under other rocks.
>
Rocksrox!1
--
Cheers, Os |
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Gra
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 42
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Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 9:06 am Post subject: Re: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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> Speed Dating: Having a few short conversations to destroy what little
> self-esteem you had remaining.
>
I think you've got the definition for "Youksef" misfiled.
Gra |
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Osbourne Ruddock
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 2614
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:15 am Post subject: Re: Concise - Science, Arts and Humanities |
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"Sir Benjamin Nunn" wrote in
@mid.individual.net:
>
> Speed Dating: Having a few short conversations to destroy what little
> self-esteem you had remaining.
>
Best.definition.ever.
--
Cheers, Os
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